Saturday, October 13, 2007

Birth order: What of it?

Have you ever heard people talking about how the birth order of your children makes a difference in how they learn? I know I have heard that many times in homeschooling circles!

As I read The Birth Order Book, by Dr. Kevin Leman, I started to chuckle and then to all-out laugh! Especially when I read the chapters on the "baby" of the family and the second-born girl in a family of two girls. Why? Because that was me from the tip of my toes to the end of my hair!

All I can say is that I am sooooo grateful that my "big sister" put up with me rather than killing me! I think I deserved killing at times. She never even tried to "lose" me on her way to somewhere that she wanted to go and had me trailing along behind.

Of course, I think it worked to her advantage that our mother was the first-born with a little sister that she had to share everything with, take to everything, etc. Big Sis really didn't have to share much, and I don't remember her babysitting me. When she was in 7th grade or so, we hit my mom with the desire for our own rooms. Mother didn't resist, and we had plenty of rooms for each of us to have our own.

Marriage wise? I did just fine, thank you very much. I married a first born. I hope my daughter does as well, but not my sons! Two "oldests" is tough, according to this book. The oldest children tend to be very goal directed and perfectionistic, a tough marriage. Hopefully they'll find last borns. Now, to give them their own rooms!!! (Working on that!)

One regret with this book is that Leman doesn't talk about twins very much at all. I was able to glean a few ideas though. Like the closer together the first and second children are, the harder the rivalry. And the second child tends to dethrone, or else go in the opposite direction, of the first born. Twins are in a tough spot there! The rivalry is intense, but at least in our case, the interests are similar.

Thankfully, our twins are both very concerned with fairness for both of them. And they are very concerned with the other's welfare. One thing Leman suggests time for first-born sons is time with the mother alone. I think that makes a difference for twins too.


Video Promotions said...

I also loved reading "The Birth Order Book!"

I met Kevin Leman when helping him produce his video series "Value Packed Parenting."

Since then, I've supported his efforts to make parenting easier by devoting a blog to his video series.
Watch a short clip from Making Children Mind without Losing Yours

I think his latest book release How to Have a New Kid by Friday is good too.

3 for school said...

I watched the first clip just now, and it was great! Thanks for sharing.